You need to know that you are not responsible for his insecurities – and that this man may become dangerous
The dilemma I am 19 years old and I was in a relationship with a brilliant guy I met at uni. We were compatible and got along well, but as time went on he became a possessive, clingy, insecure shadow of his former self. I became estranged from my friends and my life revolved around him. Days and nights were spent constantly reassuring him that I loved him, that I wouldn’t leave him and that there was nobody more attractive to me than he was. It was exhausting. At times when I didn’t want to have sex with him I forced myself to, because the emotional breakdown otherwise was too much for me to handle. When I called it quits, he broke into my flat twice and begged me not to sleep with anybody else.
I am convinced the breakup was a good idea, but ever since my life has gone downhill. I’ve stopped going to the gym, gained weight and my self-image is significantly worse. Moreover, I developed a serious drinking problem, which has thankfully mellowed out a little. I didn’t do any university work for months and am now struggling to catch up. Before lockdown, all I would do was drink and try to sleep with as many people as possible. I don’t understand why this has happened – I wasn’t happy with him, things had turned toxic and yet I’m doing even worse now that I’ve broken it off.
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