You should be asking yourself what you want, given how shabbily you have been treated, says Annalisa Barbieri. Don’t follow your wife’s orders
My wife and I have been married for nearly 20 years. We have three teenage children. My wife became uninterested in our sex life about 10 years ago. She then became progressively more distant. About four years ago I found out that she was having a “platonic” affair with one of her colleagues. After many discussions, we managed to get back together as she “chose” us. Our intimacy and sex life didn’t resume. Over the last year or so, she’s become more distant. When I asked her whether it had something to do with the other guy, she said no and I believe her.
Recently my wife acknowledged that she is no longer in love with me; she loves me as the father of her children, admires me, respects me, loves me as a family member, but is neither attracted to me nor in love with me. She said she was considering ending our marriage when the children are grown. I believe this is a very cruel way of playing with my feelings, letting me know that she intends to leave me but that, in the meantime, she wants to stay with me as a “roomie” for the children’s sake, and probably also for economical reasons.
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