Don’t let yourself be a diversion for an ageing, unhappily married man – or waste your time with an unexciting boyfriend, says Mariella Frostrup
The dilemma I’m 21 and have been with my partner for three years. We moved in together last summer, but since then I’ve been having doubts about our relationship. We both work full-time, and sometimes it’s a struggle to make ends meet – particularly for my partner. I’m having to overcompensate financially, which is making it harder to save money, go out with my friends or go on holidays.
We don’t do much together, which isn’t necessarily down to limited money. We spend our weekends watching TV and I’m tired of suggesting things to do and being met with an unenthusiastic response. I don’t feel like a normal 21-year-old and feel I should be having more fun. I’m not sure if I love him any more, but I’m afraid to break up with him in case it’s a mistake. I also don’t know if he’ll be OK without me. He says he loves me and wants to get married later in life, but I’m not sure if he truly does. At the same time, I recently met a man at work. He’s 40 and unhappily (I think) married with a wife and young child. We kissed at a work event and since then, he’s been giving me lots of attention. I know this is wrong for both parties, but I crave his next message. I haven’t felt excited like this with my partner in a long time. I’ve got no idea what to do.
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