Parenting culture can be too fussy, but we should give children the tools to say no when they don’t want physical contact
I don’t remember being ordered to hug people when I was a child, but I remember being made to hold hands. Sweaty, papery, vice-like, limp – God, all the hands one has to hold as a child. It’s not a big deal. And of course it’s unavoidable, for safety, but I remember disliking it: the sense of obligation, and the fact you never knew what hand you would get. Long after the fact, there came a moment when I realised, merciful heaven, I didn’t have to hold any more hands.
Hugs were different, a social necessity rather a safety measure, and in the 1970s and 80s (and probably 90s) they were also something from which you couldn’t opt out. Again, it didn’t seem like a big deal at the time. There were circumstances in which it was polite to offer a hug and polite to accept one. Weathering a bad hug meant standing still while someone crushed you vaguely to their midsection before wandering off to do something else. If you didn’t enjoy this, too bad.
Continue reading...from The Guardian http://bit.ly/2GZO51U
